time

This time last year, I was days away from giving birth and living through the peak of a pandemic. In just the matter of a week, it feels as if though we are right back to those weeks of uncertainty. So much so, that because of this recent surge in cases, it will be the first Christmas we are not all together, as a family, with Thomas.

If you follow my Stepmom Strong Lives, our most recent chat was about holidays and co-parenting. Michelle Dempsey, Divorce Specialist, wonderfully pointed out, “a date on the calendar is just that, a date on the calendar. Make your own traditions, on whatever days you need to and enjoy the hell out of the time you DO have your kids.” Words to live by, this week.

I know Annabelle’s first Christmas isn’t ruined, in fact she won’t even remember it. But I would be lying if I didn’t say that, my mama heart is crushed. Crushed for Thomas, crushed for Annabelle. A year later and we’re back. This isn’t about politics, it’s about our well being, YOUR well being. Our Elves still had shenanigans to get into, we had a Noche Buena dinner planned with our family, but maybe this year is the start of some new traditions.

I had already said last year, that Maria needed to take our holiday pictures every year, but this year solidified that. Maria is the only photographer to have ever photographed our family, and she knows it better stay that way! Last year, she caught us in our last days as a family of 3, and this year she captured us as a family of 4. My favorite thing about our shoots with Maria, the simpleness. No staged shoot, no props, no fancy lighting. Just us, doing what we do, in our element.

As down as I am about the holidays right now, these photos are reminders that the holidays are dates. Moments like these don’t matter if they fall on a Monday or Saturday, Dad’s day or Mom’s day. It just matters that we have them. And even better, we have them captured.

I hope, wherever you may be reading this, that you are healthy and safe. I hope you are able to enjoy the holidays with the ones you love, whenever and where ever you may be celebrating!

Time is a thief. This line. This line is one I’ve thought of maybe every single day of this infant phase we’re in. Next week, we’ll have a 6 month old and it’s been a thought that’s been hard to stomach!

What’s hard is how quickly everything changes! Sure, watching Thomas grow up gave me a bit of insight to my his thief we call time, but as they grow older, the changes aren’t so quick. There are days I literally tell myself, don’t rush her to the next milestone, these days won’t be here forever. But are there days that feel extra long and extra hard that we want nothing more than to skip over a leap or two. Absolutely. I’ll say it loud and maybe not so proud, FU time.

It still feels like yesterday we were bringing our little Sprinkle home in her sushi onesie. What I also think about lately is that my original plan was to go back to work after just under 6 months. Almost a month after giving birth I had a talk with Joel and knew there was no way I could go back to work and give up being with Annabelle everyday. I miss working, I miss the day to day interaction with adults, and working with my kiddos, but I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about how lucky I am to have this time and opportunity to be with her and get to see every moment. It’s also why I photograph and post almost everything. I don’t want to miss a thing! But pretty sure that transition won’t be any easier six months from now either.

I’ve thought about this concept of time in relation to childhood because this isn’t to say I haven’t felt the same way about Thomas growing up. But I missed Thomas as an infant. Infancy feels like its on hyperdrive compared to toddler years! There’s so many milestones in the first year, so many stepping stones to the bigger things later one. I always say, no stage is harder than another, they’re all so different with so many pros and cons to each. Although I am super partial to ages 3-4!

But here we are, almost 6 months later, out of the newborn phase and with a full on delicious baby. Almost 6 months and Annabelle sits by herself, is starting to eat food (already a foodie), sleeps through the night, looks for Cogs when you ask her, is not afraid to use her voice when needed and puts on the biggest smile when she sees her Papa and big brother!

To think that in this same amount of time I’ll have a one year old is daunting, also makes my eyes water every damn time. Stay tuned, soon next week I’ll be sharing my favorite products 4-6 months and before you know it we’ll be planning Sprinkle’s first birthday!